Pam you mentioned that the voices and isolation are hard on you. I can only relate to very little of it. I am afraid that the decisions you made to get yourself through the time on parole haunts you. I think that your trying to spend time with your family while you still can because of a very basic instinct to spend more time with our loved ones because life is short. I don’t think this is a conscious thing. I think it’s a basic survival type instinct that we all have. After the deaths in my life I sought out the people who were family or something. I sought to be close with those who were not the best in my life.
My mom in particular was one who I wanted to spend more time with because life is too short. I tried to rescue as many of them as I could. I held my other family members & friend prisoner around me cause I wanted to spend as much time with them before they died as I could. That’s not a good thing and it’s too late for me to make amends for it with them.
I fear that this might be happening to you and I don’t want to see you hurt. You’re a strong person and you have done well in helping those around you. But now you need to be strong for yourself. You need to do what’s best for you and you can over come the voices you can over come the isolation. Just take baby steps one at a time.
A PROMISE...TO MYSELF
I promise, from this day forward:
To accept myself...unconditionally
To love myself and cherish my existence
To always show myself respect
To not demand perfection
To stop putting myself down
To give myself the credit I deserve
To be my own best friend, someone I can depend on
To open my eyes to the beautiful promise in me
To utilize my God-given talent to build inner security
and to make a positive contribution to the world
Because
Only if I love myself, can I truly love others
Only if I respect myself, can I respect others
Only if I'm open to the special ness in me, can
I genuinely appreciate the uniqueness in others
Only if I cherish my own existence, can I become
The person I was meant to be!
By: Jan Baller
About Me
- M
- I am a mama to two adorable children who are considered special needs because of genetic predispositions; however I only consider them a blessing. I was a part of the Sandwich Generation long before the term was coined, I participate in the care of various family members & respected adults who need assistance. I have quirky sense of humor and tend to be blunt and a bit rough around the edges. I'm an artist who works with lots of different media (fiber, paint, clay, pen, frosting...) I'm a reader who is willing to read just about anything at least once. I am a teacher; most often it's to my children in the form of homeschooling, but I've been known to teach others as well from time to time. I am a volunteer. I am a student who feels that it shouldn't matter which path one takes to learning as long as one seeks out a path and continues along it. I firmly believe that one is never too old to learn and that with age comes an ability to perceive and comprehend more profoundly. I am currently studying Quantum Touch, Reiki, doula training and childbirth education, advocacy, crocheting, and also plan to learn knitting soon. In addition, I am, of course, always a student of Life.
No comments:
Post a Comment