To Mr. Top Notch

I had someone try to drag me into a stupid fight. They claim because I'm laying back out of it that I am mad at them. They are straight from the hood and very thick in the skull so I wrote a couple of I guess poems to open their eyes...

I heard a rumor that you think I'm mad at you.
Well I'm not mad at you at all. So stop this silly nonsense thinking I'm mad at you. I got your message loud and clear the last time we spoke about bothering you with phone calls

Why should I call you Mr. Top Notch?
Your just an Artist a headen for the top
Me I'm nothing
a no one
just a ditsy white bitch
of a speed bump in your way

I'm not dense
I can take a hint
and show myself out the door.
Cuz you made it loud in clear
through the silence that u keep


I've got nothing to bring to you
I've got no names for you to drop around
I got no useful contacts that you can use
I've got no booze nor the right kinda juice
I don't even have the grass you need to feed your dreams
I got no plastic money or Benjamins that you can spend
and It sure seems like that's what it takes to be your friend


So no hard feelings on either side
We both know that it just isn't meant to be

All I could ever be is just a friend
someone who you wouldn't need to pretend with
someone who knew you back in the day
before you get blinded by all the bling
and heated by the hot spot lights
I honestly wouldn't be
someone who would get in the way

But you don't need that
you made it crystal clear
the last time we spoke
to this ditsy white bitch
You simply stated that
You've got all the friends,
bitches and hanger ons
for when you get to the top
that you need

I'm not dense
I can take a hint
and show myself out the door.
Cuz you made it loud in clear
through the silence that u keep

So you don't have to worry about me
I'll still think you’re the best
So cleverer than the rest
Quickest to spin
Slickest to win
You'll shoot to the top
and you won't stop

Seriously I know the score
and I know it's time for me to take a powder
an head to the hills

So as wise a brother as you are
You do to
cuz you've made it loud and clear
through the silence that you shout

I'm not dense
I can take a hint
and show myself out the door.
Cuz you made it loud in clear
through the silence that u keep

Let's be honest with each other
All I'll ever be is a ditzy white bitch
of a speed bump in your path
slown you down
stoppin you from headen to the top
so better we stop before it's too late

but know that there's a
ditsy white bitch that

believes in you
she'll be quiet in the hills
remembering the beats you did

Your going to the top
it won't be long son
the extra money will be pour in
suddenly you'll find tons of friends,
Official Bitches, and wanna be yous
hangin around
just be careful that they don't try to
bust a gun on you.
It's a dog eat dog world up there
Jealousy can rear up at any time
Just be careful you don't die

I hope that while I am in the hills
I will see your star shine bright
I hope I don't read that you die
But should it happen
know that someone will cry
and die a little inside
cause that's what friends do

Even when it's been made
so loud and clear that
I'm just the ditsy white bitch
speed bump in your life.

as I said before


I'm not dense
I can take a hint
and show myself out the door.
Cuz you made it loud in clear
through the silence that u keep

Peace Out

To Mr. Top Notch
It's been brought to my attention that you might believe that I'm only in it for what it will bring to me.That's quite sad because it's furthest from the truth. I don't want what you might think I do.

Furs: There too hot to wear and tend to make me sneeze besides all that there just way too much of a hassle.

Diamonds & Pearls: There worthless in my eyes, cause all they do is get in the way. They also bring nothing but a constant fear. I don't need to live trapped like that. who wants to be afraid of losing a friend because of a stupid rock that might disappear Cause in my day to day routine it could happen.

Cars: That would be so cool cause a new set of wheels has always been a dream to me.But lets be honest as friends should be. Mine time for such treasures is passing by fast. the wide open window of being able to drive a tricked out ride is closing fast. It will soon just be a hunk of junk left to rust in between the times when I can get in and sit for a chance to pretend that life is different than what reality is.

Candy: I'll pass just the same. It's not that I'm watching my weight. The kind I really like is too hard to find and I'm lame as I just don't want to deal with a toothache. Besides I'm sure you can spend your money on something sweet for you.

Crib: Now theres a greater temptation and another dream of mine. I'm gonna need to sit down so I can remain strong and don't cave in. But I have witnessed it being the end between friends all to many times and I don't want to do it again.

Plane rides to see my "only friend" Maria and you. Your the best. But again lets be honest as friends should be. It's nice that you think of me jetting to be with you two. But the problem is and no I don't jest. I'm a horrible selfish bitch you see I want to keep my eye sight if you please. So that means I probably will never get to meet you or see Maria again. It breaks my heart to have to choose between seeing you on stage and in the news or flying off to far off places. I'd rather be able to witness your star shooting to the top from a far 1st hand not 2nd hand when someone can be bothered to take the time to relay it.

Money I don't want it Yes, it true it's something I need and can use. but not if it means the beginning to the end of us being friends. It's nice to have and it's great to spend but it really only ever gets in the way between friends. I've had money and I've had none. I've had friends with no money get some. They moved up this world as only money can do. So instead of chillin in the crib like we used to do, watching movies and eating snacks or going to the cheap seat movies in town, or going out to the joint to shoot some pool; they've all got better things to do like chillin with the local stars, and spending their money like fools. They wear dark shades so they don't have to see me. they keep the ipod up full blast as they go by so they don't have to hear me. Between the shades and the ipods they can easily block me; they don't have to see me cry and they don't have to deal with watchin me die. But like the fool that I am I still get extra snacks and I save a little cash in hopes that soon they will turn around and remember that I was there when they were down. I dont' care that they are living a dream. I remember when cold soup straight out of a can was a special treat just like that jar of caviar they sample instead.

Flowers: Hell No!!! They just make me sneeze. Why waste the money on something that is dying from the moment you get it to give? That's money wasted that could have gone for far better things. However, if you insist that it's flowers I need. Save them for the most appropriate time at my end. You can if you so desire give them then or maybe you'll have a flunky who can save you time and do it for you. Cause at my grave is the place for them.

I hope that you can begin to see that its your friendship that means something to me not what you can do. It's simple and true.

It's nothin to do with material gain for me from you. What I could gain is something far greater to treasure. An anchor to earth, a shoulder to lean on, a face that would search for me in a crowd, maybe a bean of light during my dark hours, someone who would know my name and not hold it against me, Someone who would dare to call me a friend. These are things I too could give you as poor and as dumb as I am. Cause when it's over and done with from beginning to end there's no greater treasure than having a friend.

Your flat out refusal to chat, return messages, or pick up a call. All your silence has made it perfectly loud and clear. So lets be honest and quit playing games, I'm just a silly white chick with nothing for you.

Peace out.